December 7, 2010
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As many of you are aware, my grandson has been diagnosed with muscular dystrophy. This is really the first time in my life that I’ve really had my butt kicked by the universe. Lovers cancer was not a problem as we both knew in our hearts she would recover. Her back surgery wasn’t a problem because it ended a lot of pain. Her knee replacement enabled her to go back to having a productive life. My open chest surgery was only temporarily inconvenient as I knew I would have a full recovery. Having my feet and toes rebuilt meant that by undergoing temporary pain I would have no long lasting pain. Same for my other four surgeries as they were all to solve temporary problems. Lover is just now encountering some problems that may not have such a good outcome but she is still able to function without much of a reduction in her quality of life. My grandson’s problem is one that will get progressively worse until an early death unless they come up with some kind of cure. I do understand that they are making good strides in that direction but whether or not they can be tested and marketed in a timely fashion is yet to be seen. So I now have a new perspective on life and the value of it. None of our medical problems have had a lasting negative effect and I am struggling in trying to get my mind headed in the direction of acceptance. It does not appear to be as difficult now as it will be in the future because he can still walk and be relatively active which is probably not going to be the case in a year or two. So I have to learn to live in the moment with him and not let my fears the future get in the way of sharing joy in the here and now. My level of general acceptance of things I cannot control used to be incredibly low and is now at a quite comfortable level. So there is hope that I’ll be able to get around this roadblock and be able to be there for my grandson and kids without them picking up underlying tension. I get to practice unconditional love when I go back to Washington for a week or so.
Lover is going in to have her heart checked on Wednesday and I am hoping that a stent or two is all she’ll need. I’ll let you know on Wednesday.
Keep the faith
David
Comments (2)
Keep us informed on Lovers heart stuff as you have time. Stressful and exhausting . You are both in my thoughts and prayers. I really look forward to stories of your visit to WA. Hopefully new pics of you and Rou. Thoughts of the future are hard, those days you kiss his head and give love and support to his mom and dad are now and good. xo
Ps: getting old is not for sissies!